Yesterday, one of my students ( a 5th grader) asked me whether I was dieting.

Now, keep in mind that to Koreans being thin is very important. You will often hear the women around you talk about their diets and how much weight they need to lose. My co-teacher has a banging body. Not gonna lie, for a 36 year old woman who has had two children she looks really good. The other day however, she told me that her husband told her that she needs to lose weight. She has since then started using these herbal remedies that suppress your appetite.

I was a little disappointed but not surprised. I know from experience that telling them that they are not fat at all achieves nothing. Back to the student- she told me that she diets everyday. And that she has lost about 6 kgs in total. At first, I just kept on thinking “THIS IS A CHILD, SHE IS NOT EVEN FAT. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS!” But…I then started remembering my own weight issues that I had when I was her age.

I was a healthy weight when I was a child.Although, since I can remember my mom had always been on a diet or drinking diet pills or talking about losing weight. My problems started when I was about 12 years old. After some incidents at school (bullying etc. ) I started eating to cope with my insecurity and soon I picked up a lot of weight. I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food.I also tried a lot of diets and weight loss products to lose the weight. Throughout my teens I was overweight. Finally, in my senior year I lost all the weight for my Matric farewell and maintained the weight for the next 5 years.

I met my ex bf when I was 23. Not long after we started dating (2 months) my dad died. It was very sudden. Looking back now, I should have ended the relationship there…but I didn’t want to be alone. I became very depressed and once again started eating to cope. Ex bf and I started fighting more. I eventually started taking anti-depressants and felt better. But, ex bf didn’t want me taking pills and told me I didn’t need it. So, I stopped taking them and started eating more. I gained a lot weight. I weighed 58 and I picked up about 10 kgs in the following years.

Just before I came to Korea (2010) I weighed 68kgs. I managed to maintain that weight for the first 18 months I was here. Since last year October I have picked up another 12 kg. Which made it 80kgs. And this is where I decided to draw the line. My big issue is that I use food as a coping mechanism. When I have a bad day, I binge. Instead of dealing with the emotions I eat to numb them.

Anyway, my students’ question made me realise that I have a lot of work to do still. Not just with losing weight but also dealing with the binge triggers. It also made me realise how important a healthy body image is.

Last night I told the parents of the boy that I tutor weekly that I’m quitting. I have been tutoring him for more than a year now, but recently I realised that my heart is not in it anymore.

They were so upset and tried to persuade me to stay. Right now, I dread having to go there every week. I’m out of ideas on how to improve his speaking and honestly I just want those 3 hours of my life back. I feel bad for quitting like that but I can’t take their money every week knowing that I’m doing a half ass job.

Up until 2 weeks ago I had two students, the other one I tutored on Tuesdays. The mom phoned me to tell me that his schedule will be changing and that he won’t have time to study with me.

So, now I have more time to devote to getting fit!

A man just exposed himself to me.So, there I was, minding my own business, while waiting for the bus. It was just me and him there. The next moment he comes and stands right next to me, shaking his (fully erect) penis at me.

My brain started screaming “get away!!” and my body took it’s sweet time to actually start moving. I flagged down a taxi and came home

What a way to end my Monday.